Healing

So, here I am, 9 days after my surgery. I have slept a lot in the past week and definitely had my fill of those “lazy days” we all wish we could have every once in a while. Believe me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be :). The past 3 days I have felt less pain and started to have a little more mobility. It is exciting to think of becoming more independent, but it has also been kind of hard. When the pain was greater, I would just pop a pain pill and take another nap, so I didn’t have much time to think coherently enough to feel much emotion . . .

Now that I am more conscious, it has been hard to be home bound and not able to do all the things I am used to doing. For those who know me well, I don’t tend to sit still for long. I like to leave my house in the morning and be out and about until after the sun goes down. I am action oriented and love meeting new people and connecting them as a recruiter and matchmaker :). Now, with all of the limitations I am experiencing, I am tempted to become a recluse and avoid too much social contact. I know this won’t last, but I wanted to express it in case you feel at some point that I am ignoring you. Please know that I really appreciate your kindness and support as I try to figure it all out.

To answer a few questions – I will start Chemo as soon as the Dr. feels that I have healed from my surgery. The estimate is 4-6 weeks from May 27th – I am of course hoping for as soon as possible, true to my “let’s get on with it” approach to things :). I’m really hoping that Chemo will start by the end of June. There are a couple of challenges I am experiencing right now: the skin is not healing as well as we are hoping, and so we are following medical advice and considering some additional treatment to help it along. I also have some other challenges tied to the cancer that are too personal to share but have been hard to bear emotionally. I am still praying for miracles and believe that there are possibilities for my future that will unfold in a way that will be an answer to prayers. Right now it is too soon to know much on long term effects and so I am trying to focus on the positive and avoid worrying about “worst case scenario” issues.

I have been given so many blessings along the way. My job has been wonderful and it is ironic that I work for Regence, a health insurance company – I am learning firsthand how important it is for us to be there for our members and provide the resources we have for them. Many of my team and the senior leadership of my company have reached out to me to offer kind words of support. I can’t wait until I can go back and be back in my mode as a recruiter. Those of you who know me well, know that I love to network and connect people with opportunity.

My side business – Utah’s Matchmaker is a bit on hold for now. I am of course still meeting wonderful people and will connect them as much as I can through this process. I just don’t know what to expect as I continue to heal and start Chemo, so one day at a time :). I do look forward to the time when I can plan more social events and be a more active matchmaker for my single friends :).

My wonderful mother has been joined at my hip since I came out of surgery and done just about everything you can imagine for me. My family has been so great to provide support and love to me throughout this process. Friends have called and a couple have been successful in getting me out of the house for a short outing this weekend. I have connected with the Young Survivor Sisters group, for women under 45 who have survived breast cancer. I’m happy to have my name on this list already :). They have given me so many resources and support. I’d like to end with something that one of the group members shared (as I consider my options for hair loss) :):

“There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did and she had a wonderful day. “
“The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. 'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day. “

“The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail. 'So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.”

“The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. 'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!' . . . Attitude is everything.”  (Author Unknown)

Thank you all for your encouragement in keeping a positive attitude and remembering how truly blessed I am!