Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Christmas Miracle

Things are going pretty well now that I am about 8 weeks out from my last chemo treatment - yahoo!  My hair is about an inch long and the main side effects left are fatigue, random stomach aches and hot flashes - which then turn into cold flashes and so you will see me wearing layers and taking them on and off again several times a day - LOL!
Throughout the whole ordeal I have spent at least $1000 on wigs and hair accessories, desperately trying to make myself look normal - as if I wasn't going through total body hair loss and other crazy physical alterations :).  After buying the third wig, I finally realized that it wasn't just the hair on my head that was changing the way I look but my puffy face from the steroids + the weight gain from chemo.  I also learned that wig hair does not hold up real well and gets really gnarly and gross after only a few wearings.  Wigs are also hot and a bit itchy, so not real fun for someone going through temperature extremes :).
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am "over" the wig thing - I actually was about 3 months ago . . . however, they do come in handy for entertaining. 

On Sunday my entire family came over and we had a pretty hilarious time playing dress up - just about everyone took a turn trying on one of my hair pieces.  Pictures show only a small portion of the fun we had - oh, how I love those little girls – ok, the boys are great too :).

At this point I am feeling very good about life and the blessings I have to enjoy this holiday season.  However, a couple of weeks ago I was feeling very bad about my appearance, with the loss of hair, eyelashes, brows and weight gain.  I also felt down just in general from all of the chemicals that have been pumped into my body - not to mention the extreme anxiety that was tormenting me.  All I wanted was to feel and look somewhat normal, even if I still have some time before all the side effects are gone :). 
So I prayed that I would be blessed with some very specific changes by Christmas and to my surprise the very next week my lashes and brows started to sprout – they are actually growing like a weed now!  They are stubbly but they are on their way to being restored to their original state.  I have also been able to see some progress with the weight loss and my hair is growing more each day! 
In addition to all of these small blessings, my overall emotional state has improved dramatically.  Not only am I NOT feeling down and anxious but I can actually say that I am really very happy about life.  To me this is truly a Christmas miracle and I am so thankful to know that God hears and answers my small and seemingly insignificant prayers.  I know that He knows each of us individually and cares so much about what we are feeling and experiencing.  He truly wants to hear from you, so don't be shy :)!
"Prayer is a supernal gift of our Father in Heaven to every soul. Think of it: the absolute Supreme Being, the most all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful personage, encourages you and me, as insignificant as we are, to converse with Him as our Father. Actually, because He knows how desperately we need His guidance, He commands, 'Thou shalt pray vocally as well as in thy heart; yea, before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private.'"
- Richard G. Scott