Surgery Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the long awaited day of my final reconstructive surgery (the one where they make me look like a super model ;)).  For those of you wondering, “wait, what?  Another surgery - why?”  Well, apparently the reconstructive part of the post cancer removal process is done in stages - who knew?  Not me, until about a year ago - now you do too :).

I admit, I am starting to get a little nervous, since my life has been relatively normal and pain free for several months . . . but compared to my other surgeries, this one should be a breeze - outpatient, hopefully just a week off work and pretty non-invasive.  It is essentially redistributing my fat from places I don’t need (or want it) to places where I do ;).  So I’m actually kind of looking forward to it - it’s just the process to get there (specifically the needles) that scares me most.

Slight curve ball here . . . I was supposed to get a colonoscopy on Friday - just to stay on top of my screenings but instead I caught one of the worst episodes of the stomach flu that I have ever known and was unable to do the “prep”, so had to cancel the procedure. I felt worse than I did during most of chemo (wow) - I woke up with the room spinning, extreme nausea and other unpleasant things I won’t mention here.  I felt good for a couple of days and then today I am feeling nauseated again and so I am praying that I will in fact be able to have my surgery - your prayers are welcome as well. Together we can make this happen - I know it!

I know it’s been a good long while since I’ve written - over 2 months actually.  I wish I had more time to share thoughts and give updates but fortunately life is now back to the adventure it has always been for me. Ups and downs, happiness and disappointment.  There are days when I want to share something really great that has happened and I just don’t make the time and then there are moments that if I wrote what I was thinking, you might decide to start calling me Debbie Downer and never read my blog again :).

There is so much that is good and wonderful about my life and so I feel guilty to admit that I have been feeling my share of discouragement - mostly frustration with my many imperfections and insecurities lately.  Perhaps when I reflect too much on these things, it becomes all too apparent that I have so far to go in becoming the person I really want to be. I am not sure how I have managed to find such wonderful friends and family who are willing to put up with me but I count this as one of the huge benefits in the package I have been given to navigate this journey of life. 

A few highlights from the past few months:

• I did Race for The Cure for the first time with my mom, sister and great friend.  We had a fun time and it was an accomplishment for each of us for different reasons.

• Although I was petrified to get it done, I passed my one year anniversary mammogram with flying colors. Yes, still cancer free - yahoo!!! Sitting in that waiting room, waiting for the results was an eery reminder of getting my diagnosis a year earlier.   Whew - so glad it’s over!

• I went wake boarding (one of my favorite things) for the first time in 2 years and LOVED every minute on the boat with awesome friends who made it a perfect day!  I can’t think of many things I enjoy more than being on the water, enjoying the majestic beauty that surrounds.

• I turned 40 and my parents threw me a really fun surprise party - glamping theme (if you don’t know what that is, google it and you’ll probably appreciate how fitting it is for me ;)).

• My younger sister had her 4th baby - so beautiful and miraculous after a difficult journey getting her here to earth.  Harper is a whopping 5 pounds and one of the cutest babies I have ever seen!  Mitzi is doing well now but it was a rough few weeks of hospital bed rest and a challenging labor.  I’m so thankful for modern medicine and miracles that come through the power of faith.

• My Dad’s company won a cool award for “Entrepreneur of the Year” in the Health Care Services category - in an event sponsored by Ernst and Young.  Here’s a link to the acceptance speech: http://youtu.be/SXmsMcVHa7k (so proud).

• Utah’s Matchmaker is back in business and connecting great people all over the globe.  Yes, I have my father’s entrepreneurial spirit, just not quite the same brilliance in making it big (yet).  If you know someone who is wonderful and single, feel free to refer them to my website: www.utahsmatchmaker.com

• My hair is still growing fast if you ask others, slow if you ask me - and no, I’m not keeping it short - for those who are wondering ;).  At least my real color is starting to come back now - instead of that mousy grey/blonde color it was right after chemo (ick). 

• Overall I’m feeling good but have been struggling with some nausea, fatigue and headaches the past few weeks (not necessarily related to cancer treatments) and some anxiety, especially when it comes to driving on the freeway (likely related to my episodes during chemo).  I really need to make it big soon so that I can afford that private chauffeur . . . but until then, I am so thankful for the patience my friends and family have shown in my lack of interest in driving ;).

I miss the frequent communication and visits I was able to have with so many of you while I was going through cancer treatment.  Memories of the many kindnesses I was shown will not be forgotten!  I still continue to meet amazing people who bless my life and I stand in awe at the tender mercies I am shown regularly for no apparent reason except that God is good.  I know there are always things to complain about and hard things we must face each day but really, we are so blessed in so many ways.  Sometimes the things we fear the most and feel are the hardest trials turn out to be the most tender mercies of a loving Father in Heaven.  I know this is true.

Love you more than words!