The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

 Here’s the latest photo and yes, I am winning the hair growth contest with my niece, who was born 10 days after my diagnosis. I also dug out one of my short wigs and found that I could put it back and pull off a short do :).  I wore it to work and my co-worker thought my hair grew overnight - lol!


I’m also pleased to announce that my surgery to remove scar tissue is set for this Thursday, February 23^rd!!!  Ok, I know that surgery isn’t necessarily something you celebrate except when it going to help alleviate pain and inconvenience. I was pleasantly surprised when I visited my plastic surgeon a couple of weeks ago and she reviewed my labs, then asked me when I wanted to get it done.  It will be outpatient, with a 1-2 week recovery on this one - minor compared to my other two (seriously, I’m a pro at this now!).  Depending on how this one goes, there may be one more even smaller surgery sometime after May, if not I could be done with surgery :).

My body seems to be going through some leftover effects from chemo: there is pain in my knees and feet – it is an arthritis type of feeling and this week it started in my hands as well.  I feel like an old woman when I get out of bed each morning, but gradually through out the day it gets a little better - acupuncture seems to help as well.  I have been on antibiotics for a sinus infection and perhaps the infection and/or the additional drugs are messing with me.  I really thought I was past all of this but alas, I must go through the process (which is really supposed to take about 6 months to get rid of all the side effects) - hopefully :).  The most challenging part of it all is that I have some sort of mental cloudiness going on again – much like I felt during chemo.  It is causing anxiety for me when driving and I've had a few melt downs over the past couple of weeks -lol.  I am looking forward to the day when I am rich and famous, so that I can hire my own chauffer, maybe even a body guard.  Don’t laugh, it could happen – I am still being considered for that reality show ;).

Last Saturday was the “Romp to Stomp Out Breast Cancer”.  I spent the weekend in Park City with a group of friends who were doing the Walk with me.  It was a great time and our team came in second for the highest fundraising – I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, considering all the controversy with Susan G. Komen.  I pray that the money we raised will go toward research and assistance for early detection.  I am grateful for so many who donated time, money and resources for us to enjoy a fun weekend together.  It was a really great way to culminate my recovery with other survivors and people who have cheered me on through the whole process.  Here are a couple of video clips from the event :).

I'll end with a few thoughts from my message today at church about the blessings I have received from my experience with cancer.  Below is an excerpt from a talk by Rex and Janet Lee called “Finding Beauty in the Storm”.  As many of you know, Rex Lee was diagnosed with cancer when he was President of BYU and in the talk he contemplates the answer to the question: “Why me?”  This question could be posed in two different ways:

Why was I the one who got cancer? 
OR 
Why did I survive, when others, every bit as worthy, every bit as needed by their families, and for whom just as many family and friends prayed just as fervently, are not alive today?


He stated: “The first aspect of this "why me" question seems fairly clear. I got cancer not because I was particularly wicked or because I was particularly righteous. The Savior himself made that clear in his answer to the question about the blind man. The Savior explained, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him" (John 9:3). We believe that what this and other scriptures teach is that the plan under which we are here necessarily assumes that we are on our own as to many matters, and one of those is susceptibility to serious illness or other disasters.


If our Heavenly Father intervened to spare the really good ones from those kinds of experiences, much of the effect of this life's developmental and testing process would be blunted. If it were readily and objectively determinable that living a certain kind of life--either good or evil--in effect immunized a person from many of life's crises, it would be much easier to persuade people to live such a life. So two of the fundamental premises of this existence--the need for independent earthly experiences and the need to be tested--would be frustrated.


He then goes on to say: Why did I survive, when others, every bit as worthy, every bit as needed by their families, and for whom just as many family and friends prayed just as fervently, are not alive today? Far more important than knowing why this recovery happened is taking full advantage of the fact that it has, in fulfillment of the most fervent prayers that I have ever offered.
- Rex E. Lee


I pray that I will.  Thank you for your part in helping make that possible!