Monday, October 24, 2011

It is Done!! My Battle with Cancer is Complete!

It is done! Yes, it is true - Friday was my 8th and final Chemo treatment!  I am really finished and victorious over my battle with cancer!!!  It seems almost unbelievable now that it is really here.

Friends came to celebrate, the staff at Huntsman sang to me and gave me my "graduation" certificate and I made up a song: "no more needles, no more hooks, no more nurses dirty looks" (joking of course).

My sweet aunt, who has battled MS and many other challenges in her life made the most amazing display of congatulations I could ever imagine.

My hair is coming back more each day (mostly blonde with some dark brown streaks). I am having a contest with my 6 month old niece - she is winning but not for long :).

I woke up Saturday morning thinking: "I am so excited to live the rest of my life".  Even though I am tired and lethargic from chemo, I know that there are many happy days ahead and that I have a lot to live for. 

So what am I going to do now?  Hmm - well I did spend last week in the happiest place on earth, so how can you top that?  My awesome date pushed me around in a wheelchair, so we all got to go to the front of the line.  My huge family all said thanks for the perk - I told them it better not happen again :). 

As hard as it has been there, truly have been many great memories along the road. I have come to know of many people in my life who are true friends.  I know I can never repay all that I have blessed with along the way.

With all of this excitement, I would like to say that I am feeling great but today has been a little more challenging. While I know that I have arrived at the top of the mountain, there is still another for me to climb that feels overwhelming right now.  I am laying here recovering from my last chemo treatment on Friday and although I do have less pain, I feel a complete lack of energy and motivation.  I am tired of being tired :) and the emotions they warned me about when I was at Huntsman are ensuing.  

It surprised me to hear that many people actually feel depressed after they finish chemo because often the support system goes away, under the assumption that now they are fine. But as a friend pointed out tonight, I have climbed the mountain and to go back down the mountain will require different muscles that are painful in their own unique way :).  It will take several months for my full energy to come back and I have a lot of work to do in order to feel whole again.  Over the past 6 months my body has been through so much and I am really looking forward to getting back to real life and figuring out what my new "normal" is. 

Tonight I am grateful for the reminder from a recent talk that I am not alone:

"You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!  He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom .  . ."

"God loves you because you are His child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely or make mistakes. The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf 


  1. Amy I am SO happy for you! What an incredibly tough physical and emotional battle you have fought! I am lucky to know you! If there is ever anything I can do for you, I would be honored and happy to help ;)

  2. I'm glad someone talked to you about the downhill battle. Starting from the last day of your chemo, now count to next year, and you'll look back and say (did I really do that?). Yes, the downhill climb is hard, requiring different muscles and remember DO NOT RUN. Go slow and deliberate. Take NAPS (I'm serious) and your recovery will be better this year than if you didn't. :) HUGS!!! It is completely NORMAL to feel depressed and a little panicky (down deep) that your support system visits will be spaced out further and further. It feels as if someone just cut your parachute, but girl, trust me, your feet ARE on the ground and you can do this. :) We are all here for you.

  3. Congrats Amy! You are amazing, thanks for being such a good example. Don't worry, you will still be in my prayers :)

  4. Congratulations on being done and for fighting the good fight. Like so many battles we have in life, it is when the fight is over that we say, "Is that it? Can I be done?" and then we turn around to face another challenge.... suddenly turning our faces toward Heavenly Father and asking, "Again? I thought I was done!" But, like Paul, I know you want to be able to say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course." You can do this like you can do ANYTHING!

    Thanks for the post from Elder Uchtdorf because I needed to see that tonight. I love that quote and I need to get it put on my wall!