This is the Place - Chemo Days 8-12

Today we recognize the Utah state holiday that celebrates the safe arrival of the Mormon pioneers in the Salt Lake Valley after an unbelievably challenging journey and incredible test of their faith.  The famous line by Brigham Young rings in my mind: “This is the right place”.  I love to hear the inspiring stories of their incredible commitment and determination to find a place where they could have the freedom to worship without affliction.  This year, their experience resonates even more in my soul as I contemplate the journey I am on and the destination I am moving toward with faith.  Although I have not yet arrived at the end, I am blessed with the feeling that I am in “the right place” at this point on the trek.  

I haven’t written anything for the past 4 days because I have been so blessed in feeling really quite normal.  My friends and family have been surprised that I am up to my normal activities and I am planning to enjoy the next couple of days before Chemo round 2 on Thursday.  I am at peace with the concept of losing my hair and appreciate the insights shared by a wonderful new friend who is also a cancer survivor.  She helped remind me that my hair doesn’t define me and that this opportunity to "discover more about who I am on the inside while my outside is temporarily under construction" is truly unique.  Besides, I have been told by more than one good looking guy that “bald is beautiful” :).  We’ll see how that plays out in the dating scene – LOL.  I did ask my oncologist if it is ok to kiss boys during Chemo and he gave me the green light ;).  He also said I could ride a wave runner/get in the water in a couple of weeks after I am healed from my surgery.  I think he is getting used to my crazy questions by now but I’m sure I must be a crack up for him.  One of the nurses on his team introduced herself on a recent visit and said: “I’ve heard about you”.  Not sure how to take that . . . hmm

For those of you who are wondering about the rest of the story on the Penguin Cold Caps I mentioned on the last post, I decided not to go with them based on the small chance that they could somehow stop the Chemo from working in my head/scalp.  Not interested in encouraging any kind of brain cancer, since I already defied the odds and got breast cancer at my age, I’m not willing to take any risks that could interfere with my treatment in an attempt to save my hair.  But it was fun to learn about them and explore the possibility.  It was also a great reminder of how much I need to continue to rely on the Lord every step of the way and be specific in my prayers.

So aside from some “Chemo brain” moments and deliberation over my hair, I really have felt very good the past few days.  Even the worst part right after the last round wasn’t near the challenge I heard it would be.  Either I am incredibly blessed or the Chemo didn’t make it into my system :).  I’m pretty sure it’s the first.  I pray the rest of the treatments will be this good and that I will be able to go back to work soon.  I miss my job and appreciate the patience of my employer as I have been focusing on my return to health.  Did I mention that I am blessed?  Thank you for reading – sweet dreams :).